Thrive After Divorce

Thrive After Divorce

December 14, 2007 12:12 ET

7 Tips on How Divorced or Separated Parents Can Make This Holiday Season Less Stressful to THRIVE AFTER DIVORCE

TORONTO, ONTARIO--(Marketwire - Dec. 14, 2007) -

Attention: Lifestyle, Parenting/Family/General Assignment Editors

Divorced parents struggle over the holidays to make the season joyous and exciting for their children.

Carolyn B. Ellis, divorce coach and best selling author of The 7 Pitfalls of Single Parenting: What to Avoid to Help Your Children Thrive After Divorce, says "single parents can make this holiday season less stressful and more relaxing with the right strategies."

"Big milestone events such as holidays remind you that your life is different than you imagined it would be, especially if you're not healed." Says Ellis who also hosts, an award winning podcast. Here are seven successful strategies to help ease the stress.

1. Talk to your ex before an event to talk through plans, so you can diminish the enormous pressure children can come under when their parents' relationship changes.

2. Work out dates, times and transportation schedules then share them with your children, after the decisions have been made. Make the schedule between adults, don't put the children in the middle of this negotiation or make them choose.

3. Children are more confident when they have a routine and maintaining some of the holiday traditions can be a way of bridging the past and future.

4. Get Real. Be realistic in your expectations - handmade gifts, homemade holiday cards and simple dinners. Pick traditions that are most important to you, create new ones.

5. Holidays can trigger feelings of grief, loss, and remorse - regardless of who ended the situation. Thoughts of "Shouldn't be like this". Let your feelings out instead of bottling them up - journal, talk with a friend, and ask for support. (eg. I'll be needing a dinner invitation).

6. Give your children the gift of being able to love and enjoy both parents. Children do better if there's cooperation between parents and some continued relationships with extended family so holidays are a great time to foster this.

7. Continue to enforce limits, rules - children need a stable and predictable environment.

According to Statistics Canada, in 2006, 15.9% of all families were single parent households. Nearly one in two divorces in Canada involve children.

About Carolyn Ellis.

Carolyn Ellis is founder of, which offers success strategies and resources for separated and divorced individuals. She is the author of the award-winning book, The 7 Pitfalls of Single Parenting: What to Avoid to Help Your Children Thrive After Divorce. She also hosts an award-winning podcast,

A Harvard University graduate, Carolyn is a Certified Master Integrative Coach™, Teleclass Leader and the first Canadian to be certified as a Spiritual Divorce Coach. She has also served as a staff coach at the Institute for Integrative Coaching at John F. Kennedy University in California, and has helped train hundreds of coaches from around the world.

Carolyn is a member of Collaborative Practice Toronto, an interdisciplinary group of family lawyers, financial planners and mental health professionals dedicated to supporting families going through divorce collaboratively and with respect.

Contact Information

  • To interview Carolyn B. Ellis or for more
    information please contact: Marjorie Wallens
    MJW Communications
    O: (416) 961-5924 or C: (416) 708-3783